it is time i think to introduce total and complete sadness into this blog.

Just as life is never full of just ups, i would like to focus all my energy on bringing you guys/gals a little piece of life. something that would change your life for the better if you let it.

what i would like to share with you is the unbelievable true story of Kitou Aya. Thus far i think i have shed more tears watching this work of art than anything else.But i am getting ahead of myself.

For anyone who remembers what being 15 is like may i ask you what you see? first love maybe, sports? that feeling of being with your friends? perhaps even heartache at breaking up with someone. but has any one of you felt total despair? the pain that comes with not being able to do anything? for being in a word, disabled?

That is exactly what happened to this young lady. Kitou Aya. she had contracted a very rare disease called Spinocerebellar Degeneration.This is a disease that will inhibit movement in the body and yet leave your mind completely free. It is akin to asking for a prison of flesh. your own. unable to move it as you wish, unable to speak,unable to do anything. And before any of you think about even doubting the existence of this disease, it is a true story. There was a girl called Kitou Aya.Also i believe it remains incurable to this day.

I think i've wet your appetite enough.For those who do not know the Drama of which i speak of. I urge you. Go to this website and download it as soon as possible.
http://mullemeck.serveftp.org/jps_beta/index.php?page=browse&search=kioku+litre

It is called Ichi Littoru no Namida or 1 Litre of Tears. It is based on a book written by the real Kitou Aya and chronicles her fight against depression and this disease.

Besides the enormous emotional sadness that you feel just from seeing her state, the drama increases the sadness via it's effect on her friends and family. i think this quote from the actual book from the actual book shows just how determined Aya herself is. "If you look up at the sky after falling down, the blue sky is also today stretching endlessly and smiles at me. I'm alive... I'm alive.". One more post that i found on a forum that demonstrates my feeling on this subject in words better than i could ever say...
http://mullemeck.serveftp.org/jps_beta/forum/viewtopic.php?p=357175&sid=08aa540009151318900227d316670c20
look what Sorede posted.

Now I'm downloading episode #5
the previous ones where .. I can't explain. Adorable? No it's not the word that I want. Crushing.. this is it. every single time when I watch episode I couldn't stop crying. To think that girl like Aya can think and do like her. So awesome. She is just to good to be real. I hate her fate. I started giving a questions.. Like.. "Did she deserve this?", "Why her?" and so on and so on.
It's hard for me to write in English, because I'm not ordinary Englishman and I can't say everything that I want. I will ask you to excuse me for my bad spelling.. ;_;
But there is one thing I want to say properly:
I don't know real Aya's feelings. But I understand her.. not so well, but still understand her.
I don't know the end.. but in me there is a hope that everything will be fine~ a cure will appear, and she will be fine. And the other me says: ''you know what it is next, right? You can't escape.. just bear it.. just watch without doing anything''
It's not like "it's just a dorama/movie" it's real.
Can't stand it but still like the domara

... this feeling of inevitable doom. how many of you would be able to get up and keep smiling and say things like "i'm alive?". I for one would like to admit that i would probably not be able to say the same thing.

back to the topic of family and friends. They stretched the implications limitlessly. this isn't a shallow drama where the pitfalls only envelop one character. No.The entire family is shown taking hits for this girl. Of course it's not only hits. they also show the depth of her families love for her. Trying my best not to spoil anything(by the way. trust me spoiling what they do won't help you get away from your tears.), her sister(even the super young one!) and brother has nothing but the utmost respect for her by the end of the drama, and her parents... love her more than anything....

On the aspect of friends, you are shown exactly how much trouble Aya causes just by being slower and have less mobility than others. The love interest(... to those that say i'm spoiling it, if you don't think he's the love interest in ep1 you're daft.) is soo sweet and caring that it hurts. it's like a dagger digging into your heart that you don't WANT to take out because it feels right. At the same time, the despair you feel from him..... crushing is indeed the correct word. Because he does everything he can and yet... nothing can change...

Even her best friends are forced to stand by. Words fail me. i think i will end this section on friends with another quote. "there are still 4 days left until school ends.the looks they had when they were folding so diligently.Even when we're separated,i will never forget them.i'd rather hear them say "Aya,don't go!"."

i don't think i can write anymore. even know i can feel my eyes getting moist just at thinking of the ordeal that she went through. The courage that she gives not just me and you but others in her position. The ultimate selflessness of thinking of trying to help others even at her own expense. truly one is not worthy. i think i'll end this with one of the most powerful quotes i can think of.

"i want to make a time machine and go back in time.If it wasn't for this disease not only could i enjoy falling in love but also i wouldn't have to rely on anyone and live by myself."

oh. there's two websites who have started to translate the original book written by Aya. if you like to see it, they are http://www.xanga.com/onelitre and http://diaryofaya.blogspot.com/. One would suggest that you read it and enjoy it's power in it's entirety. As far as i know though, the drama is consistent except for 1 part. Aya never had a love interest in her real life. i don't know why but this makes me feel so much more pain for her... ah! i forgot @@ her name is also changed into Ikeuchi Aya. Meaning the family is now Ikeuchi not Kitou.